The Elf's Grenade

Developed for operators who require immediate environmental decontamination before civilian inspection teams arrive. One deployment creates the tactical illusion that you dragged an actual Christmas tree into your dwelling instead of the reality: you can barely keep a cactus alive and consider frozen pizza a balanced meal.

Each unit contains concentrated Frasier Fir essence harvested from actual trees, not that synthetic chemical warfare garbage civilians use. The proprietary wax delivery system ensures sustained fragrance release with a burn time exceeding standard-issue patience for holiday small talk.

Effective blast radius covers approximately 500 square feet of questionable living conditions. For maximum effectiveness, deploy 15 minutes before target arrival and establish a secondary unit in bathroom facilities to create a comprehensive deception perimeter.

For operators who understand that sometimes the most effective defense is a good fragrance. Because when the mission is convincing everyone you've got your holiday shit together, The Elf's Grenade is your tactical advantage.