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MISSION PROFILE: Neutralize hostile odors in your AO with extreme prejudice. This 100% natural soy wax weapons system delivers vanilla fragrance payloads with surgical precision.
TACTICAL ADVANTAGES: Engineered for operators whose living space reeks of gear, unwashed kit, and poor decisions. Rapidly eliminates evidence of last night's takeout, gym bag funk, and the lingering scent of regrettable hookups that originated on Bragg Boulevard.
DEPLOYMENT PARAMETERS: Position in strategic locations throughout your domicile. Effective for pre-mission preparation before civilians enter your AO. Burns longer than your motivation, your last relationship, and possibly your will to live.
SUPPLY CHAIN: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced components (like your last ex, but more reliable).
WARNING: May cause unexpected feelings of domestic competence. Not responsible for civilians mistaking you for someone who has their shit together.
COMBAT VANILLA: Because sometimes the most hostile environment is the one you pay rent for.
.: One size: 2.8″ × 3.5" (7.1cm × 8.9cm)
.: Compliant with ASTM safety standards
.: Burning time: 50-60 hours
.: Glossy permanent adhesive label
.: Choose from nine different aromatic scents
.: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts
.: Please note: All scents have the same wax color
Combat Vanilla
$20.00